Feeling numb

It isn't like you'd expect it to be. I use the word "numb" a little wrongly. It's more like... feeling so much that it suffocates you, cutting off your choices. Cutting off the choice to choose how to feel, the choice to choose what to do.  That's why people like me who feel this sort of numbness set out to try and find a more physical feeling in replacement of the emotional ones - pain. It's hard to understand if you're not in my shoes.