Now that they know about my self-harming, I feel a little better.. but really strange. I expected them to moan, yell, start a deep conversation....
no.
They just ignored it. Grandad only said "Is it because of homework?" I said "No"
that was all
kinda shocked.
in other news, I'm in ~love~ with this song at the moment:
Thursday, 17 November 2011
Saturday, 12 November 2011
Mindpoop.
Sometimes it gets overwhelming and you start to suffocate. It's hard to think straight, yet while you are in this state, you always think you're either delusional or always right. I'm in this state most of the time. I can't help it. I think (no, I KNOW somewhere inside) that I have a mental illness. But I'm different. I want to embrace it. I want to rule this world as a crazy motherpooper. I'm BETTER than everybody pooping else, but what makes me better than them is that I'm worse! Talk about a mindpoop...
Friday, 11 November 2011
Feeling numb
It isn't like you'd expect it to be. I use the word "numb" a little wrongly. It's more like... feeling so much that it suffocates you, cutting off your choices. Cutting off the choice to choose how to feel, the choice to choose what to do. That's why people like me who feel this sort of numbness set out to try and find a more physical feeling in replacement of the emotional ones - pain. It's hard to understand if you're not in my shoes.
People are ridiculous
You probably already know this, right?
If a guy sleeps with a load of girls, he's a stud. If a girl sleeps with a load of guys? ..Slag.
If a girl buys a sex toy? Exciting and fun. If a guy does? He's creepy, perverted and likely gay.
More on the formal side, they wont use the Thames to generate electricity, even though in around a year it could pay itself back and within 10 years it could massively increase the economy by paying for ALL of London's electricity.
What I stick by is;
The best people put ideas into action
The great people talk about ideas
The average people support ideas
The small people support the media
The media causes so many problems in today's modern society. Young teens and even tweens are increasingly being subjected to ridiculous things such as photoshopped models that they should supposedly admire and worship. They are being herded through a hoop, a hoop relatively similar to the way an army works; keep fit and stay alive. Fight to protect those who you should respect... though they haven't earned your respect. In schools, we are forced to shut our mouths and not fight against that which we consider immoral, wrong, or downright stupid! We are forced to respect those who have not earned our respect, and then are expected to not be treated as equals! They say they believe in equality, but what happens to equality if only one side of the battlefield is respecting the other? It goes out of the window. If we keep raising young people this way, despite our goals of a peaceful world... I think the world will be much worse. If we want to teach equality, teachers and students should be on the same wavelength. We should be mutual towards each other! Gosh, people are so damn idiotic! Don't they realise what they're doing to the future leaders?
Anyway, enough of me rambling. Maybe I'll come back later.
If a guy sleeps with a load of girls, he's a stud. If a girl sleeps with a load of guys? ..Slag.
If a girl buys a sex toy? Exciting and fun. If a guy does? He's creepy, perverted and likely gay.
More on the formal side, they wont use the Thames to generate electricity, even though in around a year it could pay itself back and within 10 years it could massively increase the economy by paying for ALL of London's electricity.
What I stick by is;
The best people put ideas into action
The great people talk about ideas
The average people support ideas
The small people support the media
The media causes so many problems in today's modern society. Young teens and even tweens are increasingly being subjected to ridiculous things such as photoshopped models that they should supposedly admire and worship. They are being herded through a hoop, a hoop relatively similar to the way an army works; keep fit and stay alive. Fight to protect those who you should respect... though they haven't earned your respect. In schools, we are forced to shut our mouths and not fight against that which we consider immoral, wrong, or downright stupid! We are forced to respect those who have not earned our respect, and then are expected to not be treated as equals! They say they believe in equality, but what happens to equality if only one side of the battlefield is respecting the other? It goes out of the window. If we keep raising young people this way, despite our goals of a peaceful world... I think the world will be much worse. If we want to teach equality, teachers and students should be on the same wavelength. We should be mutual towards each other! Gosh, people are so damn idiotic! Don't they realise what they're doing to the future leaders?
Anyway, enough of me rambling. Maybe I'll come back later.
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